Childhood Stress: How to Tell the Difference Between What Builds Resilience and What Wears Kids Down

As a parent, nothing pulls at your heart more than seeing your child melt down before school, struggle with sleep, or wrestle with anxiety. It’s frustrating and even heartbreaking to wonder: Is all this stress actually harming their developing brain and body?

If you’ve noticed that when your child is stressed, they also seem to battle more challenges — digestive issues, focus problems, big emotions, or even immune struggles — you’re not imagining it. In fact, research shows that 35% of American children experience a stress-related health problem.

The surprising part? Not all stress is harmful. Some stress is essential — it actually helps your child grow stronger, more resilient, and more capable. The key is knowing the difference… and making sure their nervous system can handle it.

The Different Types of Stress

When most parents hear “stress,” they immediately think of something bad. But stress can actually be broken down into three categories:

• Positive Stress: Challenges that build resilience, like learning to ride a bike, solving a tricky puzzle, or practicing for a sports competition.

• Tolerable Stress: Big life changes that can be tough but manageable with the right support, like moving to a new school or preparing for a performance.

• Toxic Stress: Overwhelming or chronic stress that weighs down the nervous system — from family struggles, academic overload, or even “too much of a good thing” with nonstop activities.

Even positive experiences like swimming lessons, Boy Scouts, or extracurriculars can stack up and overload a child’s nervous system if there isn’t enough recovery time.

Why the Nervous System Matters So Much

Think of your child’s nervous system as their stress filter. A strong, balanced system can handle the curveballs life throws at it — both the good and the bad. But if their nervous system is already overloaded, even small stressors can push them into meltdowns, tummy troubles, or sleepless nights.

In our office, we use scans like Heart Rate Variability (HRV) to measure whether stress is building a child up or wearing them down. It’s like a window into their body’s resilience.

Jameson’s Story

Jameson came to us at just five years old. His mom, a nurse, noticed that when he was overwhelmed, it came out in two ways: explosive meltdowns or sudden vomiting episodes. His body simply didn’t know how to process stress.

When we scanned his nervous system, we found a lot of hidden stress built up inside his body, constantly feeding into his brain. No wonder he was struggling.

Through neurologically focused chiropractic care, we helped Jameson’s body regulate better. Over time, his meltdowns decreased, his digestion improved, and his mom said he was finally able to just be a kid again.

Helping Kids Build Resilience (Without Burning Out)

So how can parents help their kids handle stress better? Two of the biggest tools are simple — but powerful:

• Sleep: At night, a child’s brain integrates everything they learned, felt, and experienced during the day. Without good sleep, their stress levels spike and their resilience drops.

• Downtime: As tempting as it is to pack schedules with “all the good stuff,” kids need quiet time — reading, drawing, building with Legos, or simply playing outside. This downtime recharges their nervous system.

Our scans and care help kids expand their “stress bandwidth” — so they can enjoy new challenges without tipping into overload.

The Bottom Line for Parents

Stress will always be part of your child’s life — and that’s not a bad thing. What matters most is how well their nervous system can process it.

If your child struggles with anxiety, ADHD, sensory processing issues, big emotions, or chronic health concerns, it may not just be “who they are.” It might be stress showing up in their body.

When we help their nervous system regulate, kids can handle more of life — the fun, the challenges, and even the surprises — with confidence and calm.

If you’d like to learn more about how these scans could uncover what’s really going on beneath the surface for your child, reach out. We’d love to help you and your family discover what’s possible.